MEMENTOS I: Perceptions & Doubts
by Sherluis
Summary: A post-ep (6/6/01) story - Luis/Sheridan. Betrayal and who to believe.


*** Your Title Here ***

Title: MEMENTOS I: Perceptions & Doubts

(Rated PG/Sheridan/Luis - Post Ep Angst - 6/06/01) 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Could an eternity of love be thrown away in a minute?

Photographs didn't lie, neither did the past, so why did  
Sheridan doubt Luis as he stood before her, swearing that he  
was still true? His eyes shone with a strange truth, against  
all odds and Sheridan remembered the moment when he slid the  
engagement ring on her finger, a moment so perfect, it was  
held in her heart as if carved there, forever.

__

//Remember what you saw.//

Yes, that. The sight of Luis making love to another woman on  
the night of their engagement party. Yes, that horrible,  
miserable, soul-shattering sight. 

But the eyes can deceive, Sheridan thought frantically. 

Can't they?

But then again, so can the memory. Memories of Luis loving  
her, fighting for her, watching her through eyes that held  
nothing but the light of true love within their depths. 

Deceptions all ... or were they? Her own ears heard the  
phone call, her eyes saw the betrayal, so what was holding  
her back? Why did she pause in calling security? 

Lies were lies were lies. Just because Luis denied, did that  
make the impossible true?

Sheridan pushed past Luis and grabbed the wine bottle she'd  
brought out from the kitchen. It uncorked with a  
disconcerting ease and she resisted the urge to simply put it  
to her lips and drain it down in one huge, sloppy gulp. What  
a blackout that would have been -- but forgetting, how sweet  
that would be. 

__

//Remember what you saw.//

This night, no, the past year would have never happened and  
she'd finally be free, free of the sights, the sounds and the  
lies, the damnable, horrible lies.

Forever. 

But a lifetime of etiquette took over and Sheridan poured out  
a slim glass, not bothering to offer Luis any. To hell with  
him, she thought viciously, this one is mine. The alcohol  
burned her throat on the way down and settled in her stomach  
with a comforting warmth, the pain inching back, just the  
slightest bit. 

Now I see how people can get addicted to the stuff, Sheridan  
thought with a morbid chuckle. Another glass, another long  
swallow and she turned to Luis. "So it all comes down to the  
past, doesn't it?"

He stood there stoically and nodded. "It comes down to  
trust."

"How can I trust you?" Another deep gulp of wine. "You know  
what you're asking me? To trust your word over my own eyes.  
That's a hell of a lot to ask."

"I asked you to be my love, the other half of my soul.  
Forever. Eternally, and you said yes. How is this any more  
to ask?" Dark, unblinking eyes and the glass trembled in  
Sheridan's hand.

She shook her head. "You're asking me to deny enough evidence  
to convict any criminal that you ever arrested. You're asking  
me to believe my family hates me enough to destroy me in such  
an awful manner." She paused, hoping suddenly the wine would  
last the night entire. "You're asking me to deny everything  
I've ever believed in."

"I'm asking you to give me a chance. To take my record into  
account so to speak." Impulsively, and Luis' hands raked  
through his hair. "I love you, Sheridan. I've always loved  
you and I hope to God I've proved it, more than once. Why,  
even a judge ..."

Sheridan whirled around, eyes blazing. "This isn't a trial.  
If it were, you'd be heading to your cell long ago."

Luis stared at her, sad eyes searching hers. "If this were a  
trial," he said quietly. "I know you'd be fairer to me than  
anyone else. Because I believe in your love, in your  
intelligence and your fairness." 

Pleading then, and she could barely stand the sound. "Think,  
Sheridan ... think about what you thought you saw and how you  
can reconcile that to our past. Then, think about Julian and  
your father ... who would have more of a right to claim your  
trust, me or them?" His voice turned desperate. "Even in  
the face of the unimaginable."

Hands shaking, she filled her glass again. "It is  
unimaginable, isn't it?" Another wincing sip of wine, sour  
against her tongue. "If anyone had forced me to make the  
choice between you and my family, there would have been no  
contest. You versus Julian and my father, what a joke that  
would have been. How happy I'd be to leave everything  
behind, pretending my family had died or disappeared in some  
tragic incident or another." Sheridan's head began to swim  
comfortably in a sea of drunkenness. "But now," she laughed  
blackly. "I think I like Julian better than I like you. And,  
God help me, I trust him more."

She banged the glass against the table and Luis jumped at the  
sharp sound. "If that doesn't shame you ... " she growled  
blurrily, weaving on her feet. "Nothing will."

Luis swallowed hard. "I'm not ashamed, because I'm an  
innocent man." His voice softened. "And you're innocent too.  
They're in on this, Sheridan, I swear -- Julian, Rebecca and  
your father. Think ... even if you think the worst of me,  
what would have I to gain from risking our engagement in such  
a stupid manner?"

"My money," she snarled, reaching for straws. 

Alas, was there enough money in the world for such cruelty?

He sighed heavily. "If your money meant that much, why would  
I risk it for a one-night stand?" Policeman's posture, and  
Sheridan's shoulders stiffened. "And if you want to be  
crude, let's be crude then. I could be with you, have sex  
with you, anytime I wanted to. If I was so cold-hearted and  
mercenary, what difference would it have made to me what  
woman I was with?"

Her lip trembled and the comforting fog of wine lifted.  
"You're a bastard, you know that? A real bastard."

His mouth set in a hard line. "I love you. And if I have to  
talk this way to make you see the truth ...."

"I *saw* the truth!" she cried, tottering toward him, tiny  
hand clenched in a fist. "I saw you and her and ... and ..."

"And what?" Luis asked, grabbing Sheridan's arms and  
steadying her. "And what, darling? And none of it made  
sense to you? I'm not surprised, because it doesn't make  
sense to me and I'm supposedly the one who was there and  
doing this horrible thing you claimed." His voice turned  
relentlessly kind. "Sweetheart, search your heart. You fell  
in love with me for reasons, try to think, think back to what  
those reasons were."

The photograph stared back at Sheridan, and the memories hit  
her like a reeling flood, sweet, warm water over a soul that  
knew its share of bruises. Could she put such a deception  
past her family, liars and thieves they were? Could she  
assign such a betrayal to Luis? How could any man lie so  
well, but be caught the last, possible minute? 

__

//Remember what you saw.//

Thoughts of Lear then, of his self-inflicted blindness, and  
she sadly understood. The eyes can deceive, trust them not,  
and how sweet it would be to fall back into Luis' arms, this  
one terrible evening forgotten. 

How sweet ... and how damned stupid.

"No," she said with finality. "I know what I saw. There's  
no denying it."

Was it the wine that made her so stubborn, or was it an  
instinct for survival, one borne of living in the vipers'  
nest, one borne of living through being buried alive? 

What did it matter anyway, she thought miserably? What's  
done is done and after that, only ashes remain.

But Luis didn't seem as convinced. "Fine," he said,  
frowning. "I'll just have to prove it to you, prove my  
innocence." His voice lowered. "And when I do ..."

"Yes?" she asked, her chin tilted high and proud. She *was*  
a Crane after all, wasn't she? "What are you going to do  
then?"

"I'm going to love you twice as much as I do today, no, even  
more than that." Tearfully, and Sheridan's knees went weak  
at the sound of his words. "Because every day I love you  
more, no matter if we're together or apart." 

He reached out and took her hand, and there was no pulling  
away, not even if she wanted to. "I love you, Sheridan.  
Yesterday, today, and forever. Whether you agree to it or  
not, I'm going to love you. Nothing can stop that, not even  
you, angel."

Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Oh, what an actor  
he was, what a liar and ... 

But he was gone then, the door swinging open in his wake and  
she was left bereft, as if abandoned shoeless in the snow.

__

//Remember what you saw.//

Sheridan picked up the photograph, remembering and the rest  
of the wine disappeared without hesitation. What I've seen,  
what I've seen ... and suddenly, there were no easy answers.

Even for eyes that thought they knew it all.

*~*~*~*~**~*~*  
end

All reviews are appreciated. :-D


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